gracious existence

2012 Goals

2012-01-05T13:18:00.002-05:00

Not a very creative title, I know, but I just want to get these up here so I have some accountability. Anyway, here are my goals for this year. I may try to be a little more specific on some of them in the future, but for now they will do:

Personal:

-Read through the Bible reading plan I started each month

-Work out 4-5 times/week (once Felicity comes and I get the okay)

-Read 1 non-fiction book/month. This month I've read one already, so I am reading another one.

-Only check Facebook 1 time/day. I know that is ridiculous but I think I spend too much time on there.

Family:

-Have at least one date night/month with Joe

-Do one craft/new activity with V each week

-Teach V her ABCs by March

Home:

-Follow chore planner. I bought a downloadable one off the internet and it is really nice; it breaks everything down so it's more manageable and already in list form.

-Stick to our budget!!! This one will get more specific but for now I just wanted something down on paper about it.

We will see how all these go. I think they are fairly doable. Time to clean the V up from lunch.

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T16:57:00.004-05:00

Being that it's a new year and all, I figured I would actually write a little. Things have been fairly crazy the last couple of weeks with holidays and weddings and such. We also finally weaned V from her pacifier, which took a little longer than I had hoped. However, she seems to be sleeping better at night without it, which makes all of us grateful.

We also decided to move down to Grand Rapids earlier than planned. It was getting too expensive to live so far away from Joe's work, our doctors, etc. We had hoped to buy a house this spring but decided just to rent for a few months longer and take our time looking around at where we want to buy. I am excited to be going back to the city and am glad that we will be 45 minutes closer to the hospital I'll be delivering at at the end of the month, especially since we're starting to get more snow now.

I have been thinking about making a list of goals that I would like to accomplish this year in different areas of my life. I will probably share them in another post, but one in particular I would like to accomplish is to do more crafty/creative things with Verity. She is getting to the age now where she is more interested in stuff like that and can listen to instructions better, so I have been reading up on blogs and got a book for Christmas that should give me some ideas. Hopefully I can do at least one activity a week with her. For Christmas we got her some coloring books and she has been enjoying that:

We haven't had any issues with her trying to color on something other than the paper...yet. :)

Well, I suppose I should be thinking about dinner. Happy New Year everyone!

Photo Shoot

2011-12-04T18:31:00.004-05:00

A few weeks ago, we went and had our pictures taken so we would have a half-way decent one for our Christmas card. It is the first time since we were married that we had something like that done. V wasn't real cooperative, but we got some nice pictures. Maybe by the time Felicity is here she will be more into it. Here are a few of them:

As far as life goes, things have been pretty good. Joe moves to second shift tomorrow, which will be a nice change as that is what we have been used to. I am also glad he will be around to help more during V's awake time. I have been unable to pick her up this weekend without being in extreme pain so the less I have to do it, the better at this point. We are fairly settled in to the cabin now and with our Christmas decorations up, it feels more like our own home. V is learning more and more words every day and has also picked up new skills, such as putting her garbage in the trash can and helping me unload the dishwasher. I really have been enjoying the time I have with her at home and am excited to be able to do more activities with her as she grows.

Well, Joe just brought me some applecrisp so I am going to go enjoy that now. Until next time.

Just in case

2011-11-22T14:46:00.003-05:00

...you were wondering what we've been up to recently.

That's all for now. Enjoy. :)

An update of sorts

2011-11-01T15:59:00.002-04:00

So it's week two of life up north. Besides the vast amounts of rain we've had, making it difficult to spend much time outdoors, things have been going really well. Verity has mostly settled back into a normal sleep schedule, which makes everyone happy, and is starting to eat more table food here and there again. In fact, she is taking her second nap of the day right now, which is the reason I am on here right now.

Actually, I feel like I spend more time online now than I did pre-Michigan; however, I have been a LOT more productive than I ever was in Louisville...well, post-V anyway. It's amazing how enjoyable cooking/housework is when you can do a little every day so it doesn't pile up like crazy. I have been able to actually stick to the meal plans I've made so far, keep up with the laundry fairly well, AND enjoy time with V. It's nice to sit down after she's gone to bed and not feel guilty since I have accomplished something with my day. We will see what happens once Felicity makes her appearance, but for now, things are going smoothly.

Joe is enjoying the pace of his job, as well as knowing he will be done at the same time every day. He still works up cases for the company he was working for in Louisville here and there, but he can choose when he wants to do it so it works out nicely. He is looking forward this weekend to be able to relax. After driving back and forth to KY for the last three, he is ready for a break.

Well, I probably should do something with my time; it's a lot easier to get stuff done when V is sleeping! Hopefully now that I have more time at home I will be better about updating this thing.

The end of an era...

2011-10-23T16:59:00.004-04:00

Well, the time has come. After a few whirlwind months (thus the lack of posts), it's finally moving day. Everything...well, almost everything we own will be in Michigan by the end of the day. It's crazy to think that we're moving from this:

...to this:

Part of me still doesn't believe it's really happening. I've told several people that it just feels like we're going on a long vacation. I remember saying the same thing when we moved down here.

A lot of major changes happened in my life here in Louisville; the city holds a lot of dear memories. I got my first "real" job, had my first adultish apartment, bought new cars, lost a baby, had a baby, and lost my pets here. I also grew much deeper in my faith and made some lifelong friends in the 4.5 years we've lived here. As big of a blessing as this move will be for our family, I really will miss this place. Everything seems bittersweet, but I suppose that's how life is. Anyway, more updates on life back in the frozen tundra to come soon. Sorry for the corny nostalgia. :)

whirlwind

2011-07-22T08:41:00.006-04:00

The past month and a half have been pretty crazy around here. Between V and Joe's birthdays, our anniversary, traveling, a new pregnancy, and the normal stuff of life, I feel like I can hardly think straight sometimes.

We found out at the end of May that Verity is going to have a new little sibling. This pregnancy has been quite a bit different from V's. I am a lot more nauseated this time, and my sense of smell is VERY sensitive. The only real similarity is the migraines, which hopefully will subside in a week or two; they did last time. We had an ultrasound on Tuesday and were very thankful and relieved to see Baby Martin moving around with a healthy heartbeat. (S)he is due January 31, but we'll see what happens as far as that goes.

Verity's birthday was a lot of fun; we had a big party at the park with her friends and opened presents on her actual birthday. She also had a party with Grandma and Grandpa Thiel and was able to open her gift from Grandma and Grandpa Hill when she went up to visit for Grandma Brown's 80th birthday. She really learned to enjoy cake.

Some friends came and watched Verity for the day while Joe and I went to Cincinnati to have an anniversary date. We went to the aquarium, the Harry Potter movie, and a Reds game. We had to leave early because I got really sick, but it was fun to be able to spend some kid-free time together for a day. Hopefully we'll be able to do that again soon.

Well, I suppose that's long enough for now. I really need to update this blog more often so posts like this don't occur frequently. Sorry for the weird format. I was trying something new and it just didn't look right. I ended up deleting a bunch of pictures to make it fit. Grr...

Sunday

2011-07-17T10:33:00.002-04:00

This is the second Sunday I have worked in a row. While I enjoy working weekends to an extent, as it's just less stressful, I am a little tired of missing church, my afternoon nap, and time with Joe and V. Today is Joe's birthday so it makes me feel a little worse to be working. We did have an anniversary date yesterday so we were able to spend some fun time together, but it would've been nice to celebrate his birthday as a little family today.

Anyway, the last several weeks I have been following Women's World Cup, the final game of which is played today. The US will be playing Japan and I really hope to be able to watch most of it. I was able to catch the semifinals last Sunday as I wasn't terribly busy except between games, but this game is much more important so hopefully I won't have to miss much.

I guess this post is pretty pointless, but since my posts have been lacking lately, I figured I would post something. Off to test more pee.

A little bit of this...

2011-06-27T15:08:00.004-04:00

I realized today that it's been over a month since I last posted! I guess that's because we've been so busy over the last few weeks. Anyway, here is a brief update.

*Verity turned one last weekend! I can't believe my baby isn't a baby anymore! She's had a pretty good birth-month if you ask me. She's more or less had three parties over the last three weeks. That's more than I've had in the last four years. Anyway, it's been fun watching her eat her first sweets, opening gifts with her, and celebrating with friends and family.

*Pita breathed her last breath this past Wednesday. She was beginning to get more aggressive with visitors and with me, so we decided to put her down. We were afraid she would get that way with Verity and didn't want to risk any problems. It was a hard thing to do; it's been a difficult few days since she died for Joe and I.

I guess those are the two biggest things that have been happening. I'll post more pictures from trips/parties when I get them on the computer.

A Pantry Full of...

2011-05-13T15:13:00.005-04:00

Yes, that's right. Baby food. For the first three months of V eating solids, we mostly made our own, but as our schedules got more hectic and her palate diversified, it got more difficult and convenience won out. That's where this picture comes in.

Babies R Us had a huge sale on Earth's Best Organic baby food last week. 20 for $10. The cheapest I have ever seen it anywhere else is 69 cents a jar so I was ecstatic. It helped that I had several coupons making several of the jars free. I left the store with 78 jars of baby food. The bottom shelf of our cupboard now looks like the baby food section of Target, but that's okay. From left to right, we have breakfast, grains and fruits, fruits, veggie/fruit combos, veggies, entrees (meaning things such as rice and lentils, green bean casserole, etc.), and soups. Yes, I am a little OCD about how my cabinets are arranged. Part of this comes from working at Kmart during my high school years and having to straighten shelves for hours on end. Part of this comes from working in a lab now. If you looked at the rest of my house you would never guess how organized I can be. Anyway, we are hoping this is the last of the baby food we will be buying, since V has been eating more of what we are eating now.

She also has really enjoyed the teething biscuits that Earth's Best makes. (I know, I sound like a commercial for the company, but they really do make great products.) Here she is enjoying one now:

In fact, she loves them so much that she is only allowed to eat them in the highchair because otherwise she gives the dog a bite between bites of her own. Speak of the devil, it's nap time. Teething biscuits can't take care of all her tears. :) (Although sharing a popsicle with daddy seems to. )

Tandem

2011-05-09T15:42:00.005-04:00

It has taken me WAY too long to get this book review out, but here it finally is. It seems that whenever I have thought about writing it, I've been at work or someplace that hasn't allowed me to post to my blog. So here it is...

I've sort of been on a fiction kick lately, and after reading the synopsis for the book Tandem, by Tracey Bateman, I thought I would send away for it. When I received the book in the mail, however, I was a little disappointed. I could tell from the cover it was going to be about vampires, which had not been mentioned at all in the blurb on the Blogging for Books website. I wasn't in the mood for another Twilight knockoff, especially some poorly done Christian one, but I decided to give it a chance anyway.

The main storyline was semi-interesting; there are ritual killings going on in a small town and no one knows who the killer is. I thought it would be fairly difficult to deal with vampires in a Christian novel without it coming off as stupid or cheesy, but Bateman does a fair job of it. There are a few minor storylines that need more development. Apparently there is a prequel, Thirsty, and if you didn't read that there are parts that aren't detailed enough to make much sense. Toward the end there is a section that seems like it was just kind of thrown in to wrap up some loose ends with a few characters; it wasn't really satisfying to me. The part that bothered me the most though was the relationship between the main character, Lauryn, who is an unbeliever, and Billy, a preacher's kid who has just returned from the mission field. Bateman seems to not have a problem with a believer pursuing a romantic relationship with an unbeliever at all. I am not comfortable with this being promoted by a Christian author when I have seen it cause so many problems in real life amongst people I know.

One thing I really appreciated about this book was the attention it gives to Alzheimer patients and what their families go through. Lauryn has to take care of her dad all by herself (she has no other family to help) and the author paints a good picture of the physical, mental, and emotional toll it takes on her as her dad's Alzheimers gets worse . This wasn't enough to redeem the book for me, however.

If you're interested in previewing this book, you can download chapter one for free.

Disclaimer: I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.

And the winner is...

2011-05-05T19:06:00.004-04:00

ME! Last week, I entered several giveaways on the BabyBuys blog. This isn't unusual for me; I enter giveaways on Moneysaving Mom, Bakerella, and other blogs I follow. However, this is the first time I've won something...and what did I win??

Okay, so BK isn't the greatest restaurant to win a giftcard to; the point is, I won something! If nothing else, I won ten dollars worth of sodas. :) The card came in the mail today.

It encourages me to continue entering these giveaways. Who knows, maybe next time I'll win the iPad or the $500 giftcard to Target!

Grabbag

2011-04-29T21:29:00.003-04:00

Be careful; you never know what you might read about in today's post...

*We have a future dancing queen on our hands, as we found out after church Easter Sunday while visiting the Myers in Virginia:

V also met a potential suitor on the visit:

Apparently she hasn't made her mind up about little boys yet. Her daddy is okay with that.

*Moving on to another random topic, I thought I was in fairly good shape after 2.75 months of Turbo Jam. Then I did a 15-minute Turbo Fire workout on Tuesday. I was wrong. I don't think I've ever had that much sweat dripping off of me in my life. I have been sore ever since. What was I thinking?

*Work has been a bit of a bear lately. It really is tempting to gag when a patient hands me a specimen in the waiting area of the ER and says, "By the way, there's a worm in this. But don't worry, it's not alive or anything." Really?? Somehow I don't feel like I signed up for this part of the job. (By the way, there really was a worm in it.)

Turbo what?

2011-04-20T20:49:00.001-04:00

Beginning Monday, I'm going to be starting a new workout program. Turbo Jam has been fun, but I am ready to up my intensity level...I think. Here is a sample of what I've been doing:

I know the video is a little long, but that's YouTube for you. They don't even have a great video for Turbo Fire (what I start Monday) yet that isn't basically an infomercial, so I didn't bother to post it, but just think Turbo Jam on crack. I'm slightly nervous after watching a few of the videos, and will probably die next week, but I think it will help speed up my weight loss and I also think it will be a good challenge for my body, although there are definitely ways I could make Turbo Jam more intense. I have about 20 more lbs. to go to reach my final goal weight, which is exciting, and about 10 until I reach my pre-Verity weight. I also have biceps now, although I don't think you will be able to actually see them until my arm fat goes away. For a girl who's never been able to do a pull-up though, that's saying something!

Wait for daylight...

2011-04-17T21:58:00.004-04:00

I guess it's been a little bit since I last posted. It seems like we're in the midst of a fairly stressful, trying season here in the Martin household and I just plain haven't had time to get on here lately. I keep waiting for things to slow down, which they don't, or for some sort of reprieve and it never comes. I shared with the girls in our community group tonight that I know I need to have a bigger perspective and look at this time in light of Romans 8:28-30, which is what we studied tonight, but quite frankly, I'm tired. I guess a step in that direction would be to focus on the blessings that God has given us during this time though, so here are a few of them:

*Joe and I both have jobs, and they provide decent health coverage. A lot of people don't have either of those things.

*One of us is able to be home with Verity for all but a few hours every week. We have been able to witness all of her, "firsts," and we haven't gone completely broke paying for daycare.

*We have great family and friends all over the country, and a very special spiritual family here in Louisville. We are so blessed to have so many people who love us both at Sojourn and from our previous church. They have been so supportive over the past two years as we've gone through an intense season of mourning into a season of joy and now a season of trial and struggles.

*God chose us, for some reason way beyond me, to be His children and to save us from our sin and the punishment we deserve for that sin. We have found mercy, grace, hope, and healing in the gospel and are becoming more like Christ every day, even though we don't always see it.

There is also the hope that we won't always live in this world that has been marred by sin but will one day be united fully with Christ in heaven, where there will be no suffering or sin or pain. The more trials and suffering I go through and the older I get, the more I look forward to this. I guess I didn't mean for this post to turn into a sermon or anything, but the more I reflect on the blessings in my life, the more I am pointed to Christ and what He has done for us on the cross. I guess that's appropriate seeing as it's Good Friday and Easter this week...and it would be appropriate even if it weren't. :)

On forgetfulness...

2011-03-29T18:36:00.004-04:00

In an effort to distract myself from the screaming 9-month-old in the other room, here is another mini-post on a minor issue in my life. Wow, two days in a row!

Anyway, about 30 seconds after the drugs wore off post-partum, I realized that my memory would never be the same. I couldn't remember silly things, like how long ago Verity had nursed, or how long ago it had been since she had had a dirty diaper without writing it down. Since I've gone back to work, it's gotten about 100 times worse. I will put something down or someone will tell me something and 10 seconds later it's already forgotten. I will make plans with someone and forget that I've made them until they show up at my door later that week. I used to have a mind, "like a steel trap," but no more.

Today, I decided to finally do something about it. I bought a little notebook to carry around in my purse with me so that when someone tells me something I need to remember, or I make plans to do something with someone, I can write it down. Now I just need to remember that I actually have said notebook...and to look at it to check if anything is written down in it!

Hopefully memory doesn't get worse with each pregnancy, because I honestly fear I won't have any left if we have any more kids!

Catch Up

2011-03-28T16:19:00.003-04:00

It seems my once-a-week posting has started to fall by the wayside, so here is a short post to tide the few who read this blog over until I can make a more substantial one. An update of sorts:

*Verity has started doing a plethora of new things over the last few weeks. They include, but are not limited to:

-crawling on her hands and knees

-pulling up to stand, and even trying to walk alongside the couch

-clapping

-giving high-five

-getting her two bottom teeth in

-trying some new foods such as chicken, Grandma Hill's blueberry muffins, baby yogurt, and other yummy things

*Joe and I continue to follow our Beachbody workouts. Thus far, he has lost about 10 lbs, and I have lost 11. The annoying part is that he has been doing his for 4 weeks and I have been doing mine for 8. Why do men seem to have an edge when it comes to weight loss?

*We installed a gate to keep the dog away from Verity, and to keep Verity out of the dog food, litter box, etc. It seems to be doing the job so far.

*I started doing powerpoint again for the worship services at Sojourn. I really am enjoying it and am glad I was able to start serving in this way again.

Anyway, this is turning longer than I planned on. Hopefully more later. There are more than a few book reviews coming in the future. One because of the blogging for books program I am in, but the others because of some controversy going on amongst people I love. More thoughts on those later.

I love the mountains; I love the rolling hills...

2011-03-13T21:42:00.008-04:00

This weekend we went on our first real family vacation. By that, I mean our first vacation where we didn't go visit family in Michigan. On Friday, the Martin family left Louisville and headed south for Asheville, North Carolina. We got there mid-afternoon.

We didn't really do much as we wanted to keep Verity on her schedule as much as we could that day, so we checked out the mall, ordered pizza, and put her to bed. Lucky for us our room was right across the hall from the pool so Joe and I were able to take the baby monitor and go relax in the hot tub while Verity slept. It was almost like a date!

The next day V woke up at 5:30, which wasn't real fun, but Joe and I both worked out and then we spent the majority of the morning driving around in the mountains. We stopped at a few places along the way:

We ate lunch at the Moose Cafe, which has been featured in Southern Living for their amazing biscuits and apple butter. It was well worth going there, if only for that! After that we walked downtown for a few hours and visited some of the shops down there. It was about 70 degrees so it was the perfect day for it. Verity even got a new Cat in the Hat bag.

Downtown Asheville was a little bit overwhelming in places for a sheltered yooper like me. It almost felt like culture shock in some areas; I felt like I had been transported back to the sixties...and I am NOT exaggerating. There were hippies playing instruments everywhere and sometimes they had dancers accompanying them. There were people that looked like they had stepped out of Little House on the Prairie competing with the hippies for spare change. The downtown area was also very dog-friendly. We even saw a golden retriever just hanging out in a storefront. And it wasn't a pet shop. There were dogs sitting with their owners on the patios of restaurants just hoping for a scrap of table food to drop their way. It seemed to be a place without rules.

After we had had our fill of the downtown district, we had dinner at Nona Mia Italian Kitchen, where Joe tempted V with some of their delicious garlic bread. She would have preferred that to her dinner of green beans and bananas.

After dinner it was back to the hotel so V could go to bed. This vacation was a little weird for us in that we were back to the hotel so early every evening, but really it was nice to spend some more time in the hot tub, catch up on reading, and even watch a little tv (we don't have cable at home, so it seems like a luxury).

Thanks to day-light savings, Verity slept in till 8:30 this morning. When she woke up, we got her all suited up for her first dip in the pool.

It took her a little bit to get used to it, but she loved splashing around. She even took a dip in the (lukewarm) hot tub.

We had to leave too soon and are already looking forward to visiting again. I love the convenience of all that the city has to offer mixed with the raw beauty and activity options (skiing!) of the mountains. Too bad the responsibilities of life must be dealt with. Back to reality.

On procrastination

2011-03-07T08:55:00.002-05:00

Or maybe just a short note to put off the review that I really should be writing after reading the last book I received for review. It's hard for me to want to write a review about a book that I may end up ripping to shreds. On second thought that might be fun. Moving on though...

This week was an interesting one of sorts. I would show you the week in pictures, but I can't find my camera cord, so some day soon, a huge album titled something like, "Winter 2011," will appear on Facebook and maybe then you will have an idea of what the last several weeks have looked like around the Martin household. To give you a general idea of our week, here are a few of the highlights (or possible lowlights, depending on how you look at it):

*Joe completed a whole week of P90, the precursor to the P90x workouts. He has been really disciplined about working out every day and about his diet, so hopefully the diet part will rub off on me! Usually once he gets going on something he is really able to stick with it.

*Verity rolled off the bed and hit her head while I was changing her socks. I know, what kind of mom lets her child do that while she is standing right there holding on to her? Apparently, I do. After many tears shed on her part and mine, we took her to the pediatrician, and she is doing just fine. Apparently, she hit the hardest part of her head, so that was a good thing. I have learned my lesson and will be changing clothes on the floor from now on. Verity is just too squirmy for her own good at this point.

*I got two bottles of Dawn dishsoap and a tube of Crest toothpaste for free plus ECBs at CVS this week. It's been a while since I've been able to really do the coupon thing well so I was semi-excited about that.

*We both enjoyed hanging out with various people from around Louisville, which doesn't happen as often as it used to due to V's schedule.

Anyway, it was a fairly uneventful week. This weekend we are going on our first family getaway to Asheville, NC. If I ever find my camera cord, there will be pictures from that, too. Until next time.

Random

2011-02-25T23:11:00.002-05:00

Things you may or may not care to know about my week...

*I told my co-workers that every Friday I work (which is every three weeks) is Treat Day. Today my boss brought in two pans of brownies. I think I may have eaten 1/4 of one of them. This is what happens when I have next to no baked goods for 25 days. So much for self-control.

*Verity said, "daddy," last night while I was getting ready to give her her antibiotics. Joe wasn't home. She has no idea what she said. I still thought it was sweet.

*I found out that I have some of the best friends ever here in Louisville. I am so thankful to have such a wonderful spiritual family, especially when my biological family and in-laws live at least 8 hours away.

*Not only is one of my spiritual gifts administration, but one of my greatest weaknesses is my need to be in control. It has taken me training several people at work and 5.5 years of marriage to figure this out. Apparently it did not take my husband quite that long to put it together.

*I miss exercise on the days I don't do it. The last time I felt this way was my sophomore year of college when I would play basketball at the gym for several hours every day. Who knew I could get that feeling back when I started doing workout videos...in front of a television...in a cramped space...after a 12-hour day at work...at the beginning of February?

*My husband is a lot happier and more productive when he gets at least 7 hours of good sleep. Yes, I know this is true for most people, but because it has been so long since he has had this for more than one day a week, I almost forgot it was possible.

That's all for the randomness tonight. Maybe I will make this a weekly thing. At least that way there would be one post a week. I have another book review coming up, this time on a fiction book titled, Tandem, by Tracey Bateman. I sort of enjoy writing reviews. It lets me discuss my feelings about a book with "someone," and if a reader happens to be completely bored with my feelings, they don't have to read it. It's nice. So anyway, for the few that actually read this, that is an upcoming post to look forward to, or dread, whichever you prefer.

A plain morning...

2011-02-21T16:48:00.003-05:00

This morning my siblings left after a fun but slightly stressful weekend. The stressful part is due to having a baby around that we had to keep happy all the time. I'm still not used to that yet when we have company in town. Here are a few snapshots my sister-in-law Abbey took of V while they were here:

Anyway, it's always depressing for me when family or friends from out-of-town leave and the weather today seems to reflect my mood. Even though it's 60 degrees, it's fairly windy and overcast and seems like it could rain at any moment. I am really hoping that my workout routine tonight will help lift my spirits.

Speaking of exercise, as a sort of update on my resolution for the year, I am doing fairly well in the self-control area. God has really changed my heart and given me the grace to say no to food and soda when I am not hungry or when I am full and don't really need to eat more. This isn't to say that I don't screw up in this area still, because I do, but I am really seeing true change in this area of my life and it has been so encouraging. It also gives me hope that God can work in other areas of my life if I am willing to get serious about it, repent, and let Him.

On a related note, I am now working on taking better care of my body, as I realize that haven't been honoring God in this area of my life either. February 1st, I started doing Turbo Jam, a Beachbody program, and it has been great. I haven't missed a workout yet and it is actually becoming one of my favorite parts of the day. I purchased a new pair of workout shorts this weekend and can't wait till tonight to be able to use them. I know this may sound a little dorky, but it's true. Between the exercise and eating less/better, I have lost 6 lbs., which is a good start on the way back to my pre-pregnancy weight.

Hopefully I will update some on V's new skills and developments later this week but she is getting into some stuff she shouldn't right now so more later. :)

Radical

2011-01-31T12:08:00.003-05:00

I just finished a very uncomfortable read. I don't think I've ever read a book that made me so defensive, aware of my defensiveness, and grieved over it all at the same time. Radical, by David Platt, is the book I fault for this unnerving experience.

This book had been recommended to me by several trusted friends and family, and more than once I had thought about picking it up in the bookstore. When I signed up for the Blogging for Books program through WaterBrook Multnomah and saw that it was one of the books available for review, I didn't even look at what else was available; I selected it on the spot.

I admit that it has taken me several weeks to get through this book. This wasn't because the book was poorly written or difficult to understand; the material is just heavy. The basic premise is that as American christians, we have no idea what it means to live like Jesus, a life of mission. We chase after a life of comfort and security, and care way more about living the American Dream than we do about people's souls. This has trickled into the culture of the church in our country, and we are disobeying God's command to go to the nations with the good news of the gospel, mainly because we don't want to sacrifice these idols. The author goes into a lot more detail on these topics and issues a radical challenge to change at the end of the book. The whole thing is biblically based and very convicting. Needless to say, God has used this book to expose some idols I didn't realize had such a hold in my own life.

The only things I wish the author would have touched a little more on would be the attitude of the heart in these matters. It is easy to tell everyone to quit being selfish and move overseas to share the gospel with the lost; in reality, however, there are a lot of people who just aren't in a position to be able to do this. That doesn't mean that God is less pleased with them, as long as their heart is willing and, should God provide an opportunity, obedient. Sometimes the opportunities that God provides us with are right in our neighborhood, and I don't feel like that was emphasized enough.

Overall, this was a worthwhile read and God has really been using it in my life to change my heart over the last few weeks. If you're interested in previewing this book, you can go here and download chapter 1:

http://waterbrookmultnomah.com/2010/04/20/sneak-peek-radical-by-david-platt/

Disclaimer: I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.

Snowed in.

2011-01-20T17:34:00.003-05:00

Or at least that's what those from the Louisville area would say we are. It has been snowing pretty steadily since around 1 with no end in sight. All that to say, I think we've maybe gotten one inch so far. They called schools off for half the day and there was a run on milk and bread. The joys of winter in the south.

Anyway, Joe, V, and I have had some time together the past couple of days after not seeing one another for almost a week! (Well, Joe and I hadn't; he and V saw each other and V and I saw each other.) It has been really nice to just hang out together with no real schedule. V figured out how to jump a little in her jumperoo and she is sitting unsupported now. It has been fun to watch her progress over the past couple of days.

On a sad note, I am officially done nursing tomorrow. Since Verity has started solids, she has been less and less interested in nursing during the day. It has gotten to the point where she cries after about 30 seconds and refuses to nurse. She has been nursing right before bed and before I go to work, but it's mainly for comfort. Last Thursday I decided enough was enough; I was not going to pump every three hours on what was already going to be a long drive to Michigan by myself. A full day of pumping does not even give her a full feeding, so it seemed kind of pointless to continue doing it. Anyway, tomorrow I will be starting a new migraine medication so I will not be allowed to nurse her. We will see how she does without her comfort nursing. It's sort of bittersweet; I will enjoy my freedom and fewer migraines, but I will miss being the one she depends on in this way and the bond there was because of it.

Well, the jumping queen is ready for a break so this marks the end of this emotional pity party. Until next time.

2011

2010-12-31T15:03:00.002-05:00

Today is New Year's Eve. I am going to be in bed at 9. Sad. My community group is having a joint party tonight with the group we multiplied from, but as I have to work tomorrow and I have V's sleep to worry about, I will not be attending. Last year at this time, I probably would've just gone and sucked it up at work the next day. However, with my current levels of sleep deprivation I don't know how good an idea that would be.

One thing I do want to do this New Year is make a conscious effort to make some changes in my life. In the past when I've made New Year's resolutions, I've failed miserably. However, I think part of that had to do with my motivation for making changes, too high of expectations, and just plain lack of self-discipline. This year will be different...at least I hope. So here is my resolution for this year: Self-control.

I know this is really broad, but my lack of it is something I have really been convicted of over the past two months. It is so easy for me to overeat, overspend, and make excuses for excessive laziness in my life. I'm tired of living a life of idolatry to food, stuff, and comfort. Hopefully I will have good progress to update you all with over the next several months. I feel like I am putting ways in place to help accomplish these goals, but lots of accountability is always helpful. Looking forward to less of me and more of Jesus in my life.

Really mom?

2010-12-23T15:50:00.004-05:00

So Tuesday, we took Verity to the doctor for her 6 month check-up. I know, 6 months! I can't believe my baby has been around for half a year already! She is such a huge blessing to us, and for the most part, a very happy baby.

However, when it comes to sleeping, she isn't so much. We have had to let her cry a few nights before she was finally able to go to bed without hours and hours of rocking/nursing/being held. In October, she started waking up about every three hours again to eat, something she hadn't done in about two months. Recently, I noticed that after about 5 minutes of nursing, she would go right back to sleep. When we mentioned this to the doctor, she said that we needed to do some sleep training with her. Apparently, letting her eat like this now could help set her up for a late-night eating habit. NOT something I want my little girl to ever have to struggle with, having struggled with it myself.

Due to that and her light-weight status (13.2.5 lbs!), all she will be doing for the most part doing the day is eating. Not really, but it feels like it. She is supposed to be eating three meals of solids every day, in addition to nursing. So far, we have tried rice cereal, avocado, and sweet potatoes. Surprisingly, sweet potatoes were her least favorite of the three. Must be all that mexican food I ate when I was pregnant! She is also supposed to have a sippy cup of water at every meal. Here she is attempting to drink from it:

In six weeks she goes back for a weigh-in, so hopefully it goes well. Well, off to get ready to deliver some presents. Being regular on this thing isn't as hard as I thought it would be. Merry Christmas Eve-Eve!

A Working Title

2010-12-18T11:38:00.001-05:00

So what do you think? I, for one, love the new look my blog has. I don't so much love the title however. I need something fresh. Any ideas?

I want new.

2010-12-11T16:58:00.006-05:00

A new blog design, that is. I suppose I should peruse the internet and try to find something a little more original than this new design, but it's enough of a change to hold me over for a week or two. I signed up for this thing where you get free books if you review them on your blog, so I need to enjoy my blogging environment a little more.

Anyway, today I have spent the majority of my day (all but 6 hours of it anyway) at work. I actually enjoy working the weekend now, as I have a lot of time to be alone. That probably sounds horrible, but it kind of helps me recharge. I suppose I shouldn't enjoy it TOO much today since Joe is home with a sick Verity...but oh well. I do have some work to do, but for the first 9 hours of my shift I only had three patients to run tests on, so I really have had a lot of downtime. So far, I've checked my email and caught up on my survey-for-giftcards hobby, watched some Law & Order, played games on my computer, and read. I also finished the majority of CE credit courses I needed to do before they expire.

One thing I really enjoy about being at work on a weekend is that I can listen to music. During the week an iPod really isn't an option with the phone ringing off the hook and people in and out with questions for us. We can't get a radio signal; I think the x-ray room next door must throw off the frequency somehow. Anyway, today I was listening to the DJ on my iTunes and an old song came on from when I was a kid, "Living Dangerously in the Hands of God," by Steve Camp. Now I know I'm probably considered a nerd for still listening to this. It IS 80's music after all. However, the lyrics are packed full of truth, and I'm encouraged and convicted every time I listen to it. This particular song talks about really living for Jesus. The whole song is extremely convicting, but this part challenges me every time:

There's safety in complacency, but God is calling us out of our comfort zones into a life of complete surrender to the cross. To live dangerously is not to live recklessly, but righteously, and it is because of God's radical grace for us that we can live life in radical obedience to Him.

It's so easy to forget about the gospel and what God has truly done for us by sending His Son to pay the penalty for our sins; it's also easy to not let the gospel impact the way we live, which should be "radical," as the song above states. :) I'm really excited to talk to my community group girls about this tomorrow night.

Well, as it's getting semi-busy, I need to get to work! But more to come. Two posts in one week is pretty earth-shattering though, in my opinion.

It's time...

2010-12-08T21:35:00.004-05:00

...for an update! I figure after almost 9 months of not posting, I really should be more regular as far as updating this thing. Even if no one reads it, it IS sort of cathartic.

Since my last post, we have:

-had a baby

-traveled to Michigan more times than I can count

-started a new job (Joe)

-started leading a community group for church

-lost a grandparent (me)

-hosted our first Thanksgiving meal for family and friends

It's been a fairly busy 8-9 months. Verity will be 6 months on the 17th and is teething. We are so blessed to have such a beautiful baby girl.

This is from a few months ago, but Joe has all the recent pics on his computer so this will have to do.

It's also time for me to go to bed, but there will be more in the near future. Near meaning within the next week or two, not the next year or two.

88 days...

2010-03-19T18:12:00.002-04:00

...till Verity Grace is (hopefully) here! I start the third trimester on Tuesday and as baby's due date gets closer, I find myself with mixed emotions. On one hand, I feel like I need a lot more time than I have left to get used to this whole, "being a parent," thing. There are so many things I don't know and I feel so irresponsible about my own life sometimes that I can't imagine being responsible for another human being who completely relies on me. It's overwhelming to think that God would give us the privilege of caring for a little soul. On the other hand, I REALLY am ready for my body to be back to its normal (hopefully thinner) shape! It's depressing to go for a walk and have to tell Joe to slow down after only two minutes of a moderate pace. Of course I am also excited to meet our little girl. I had a 4-day-old patient this last weekend at work and it made me all the more eager to meet little Verity.

In other news, there really isn't anything exciting to report. I applied to do counseling training at our church and am waiting to hear back on whether or not I have been accepted. Joe started his clinicals for 3-D imaging this week. We are thankful that he had the opportunity to do that this semester; not only was it free for him, but it will allow him access to more job opportunities if we ever move out of Louisville, which we hope to do in the next few years. Our hospital system laid off a number of people this week and thankfully our jobs were spared. God continues to provide for all our needs, and I know He would've done so had one or both of us lost a job, but honestly it is nice not to have to worry about it.

Other than that, we are just working, churching, and nesting. :) Over the next few weeks we will spend some time with both sides of the family, which will be nice. I am looking forward to going to Michigan a few times this summer while I am on maternity leave. Joe's schedule allows us to go up for a couple weeks at a time and it will be nice to be able to escape all the heat and humidity in Kentucky for a while.

Until next time...

It's about time...

2009-08-21T15:48:00.004-04:00

...for a new blog! It seems like everything else is new in my life right now, so why not write a new blog??

Anyway, the last several months have been a whirlwind for the Martins. Brothers got married on both sides, and we gained two new sisters, which is always fun. Our first child never made it into the world and is now enjoying eternity with Jesus. My car died and we bought a small SUV, which will be perfect for moving things to our new (rented) condo, where we will be moving to September 15th. We also just switched churches due to Joe's new job. Joe started a new semester at school and next week I start a few classes, one through the seminary and one at our new church. Our world is sort of in an upheaval.

During times like this it's usually a big struggle for me emotionally. I tend to hate change. A lot. Not all change, mind you. I love when people's hearts change, my own included, to become more like Christ. It's the things that facilitate this change that I have a harder time with. It's not always easy to trust God with the loss of a child, or when a car breaks down at one of the most inconvenient times financially in our lives. It's hard to start over when you feel comfortable where you have been. I'm sure there are other things that I would have an even harder time trusting God with. However, Romans 8:28-30 has been a huge comfort to me during this time and I am having an easier time adjusting to everything than I normally do. It seems natural almost to draw closer to God when I am hurting or questioning or worrying.

I want to encourage anyone who is struggling in any area of their lives with these verses. God IS good, and He IS in control, and nothing takes Him by surprise. Ultimately, we can take what happens in life and use it to glorify God and become more like him, or we can wallow in our self-pity and heartache. I happen to be much less miserable when I choose the former. It's kind of scary to me when I re-read this; I sound like my parents!

Anyway, I'll leave you all with that. Maybe it won't take me so long to write again.

Blood and the Internet

2009-03-28T10:57:00.004-04:00

Being that I'm stuck at work on a beautiful Saturday (or not so beautiful, seeing as how I have no windows here in the lab), I figured I would take this time to update my blog since they have taken down the firewalls on the internet for the time being. I hope they don't put them back up for a long time; I could get used to being able to surf the web at my leisure on my weekends here. So far, my day has consisted of looking at a few things under the microscope, running a few blood tests, facebook stalking, attempting to watch parts of a movie, and checking my email. Maybe I will even try to fix the horrible formatting job I did the last time I updated my blog. Beth's new look for her's has inspired me.

Anyway, not a whole lot has happened since the last time I was on here. Maybe I should've read what I wrote so I would know if that was true or not. I am sending in our taxes finally tonight. They have been done for a long time; I am one of those people that gets them done the day the last W-2 comes in the mail. That is probably because I've always received a large refund in the past. This year we are sending the government a large check, which is why I have held off on sending them in for so long this year. It's sad to me to have to send that in, as I could pay off almost half of one of my student loans with that money, but such is life.

On a brighter note, we are getting some new dishes today. The first year we were married, we did not have a dishwasher and while many of our dishes were in the dishrack drying, our evil cat decided to push the whole thing off the counter and many of them broke or were chipped. We have been setting money aside in a "home improvement" fund and decided that we would finally replace them with these:

I am really excited to have a full set of dishes again. They shouldn't chip as easily, either, since they aren't stoneware. While we're talking about home improvement, I've also had my eye on this for our apartment:

Maybe in a few months:)

For the few who read this, this is what happens when I have too much time on my hands. You get images in your blog postings. Too bad I don't have my own computer so there are no pictures of anything of any real significance. Now I will see if this actually looks halfway decent or not. If not, I guess that's what all this time on my hands is for.

Another day, another dollar

2009-02-06T22:47:00.000-05:00

I am done working for a whole week and am ready for the break. Today went by quickly at work, but it was exhausting. I had no help for a few hours and between answering phones and performing one of the main tests we do manually, as our instrument was down for about 8 hours, I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I was thankful that I had a long hiatus ahead of me. I have been working around 50 hours a week to help out my boss because the lady who works opposite of me broke her arm and had to have surgery on it, so she really can't do anything that our job requires of her. While the larger paychecks are nice, I am ready for her to come back.

I guess in some ways I have been glad for the extra hours in that it gets me out of the house more. When I'm at work I don't always feel that way, but the house gets lonely during the week sometimes when Joe is at work. There are nights when I am extremely productive-I get lots of cleaning and other things done that I have been wanting to do for a while but haven't had the extra time to do. I already have our taxes finished up for the most part even. However, there are a lot of nights where Riley and I just sit on the futon and watch reruns of Law & Order on Netflix or Gilmore Girls on dvd (I still do plan on sending you season 2, Amy!) Maybe I need to get a new hobby or something. I thought about trying some of the things I've seen on the Bakerella blog. She is so creative with cakes, and the brownie recipe I got from her was amazing! However, since Joe is on a health kick and I am reluctantly attempting to join him, I suppose I shouldn't tempt us in this way. I do really like to vacuum lately with the pink vacuum that Joe isn't necessarily a fan of. While I am amazed at how much dust and hair it picks up every time I use it, I think the thing I like best about it is that it is pink. After all, since I've been married I haven't been able to have many real "girly" things around the house, so it's fun to have one with that sort of flair to it.

Well, now that I've posted a completely random post, I suppose I will move on to another website. It's one of the "futon-with-Riley-watch-Gilmore-Girls-surf-the-web" nights here.

A Winter Wonderland?

2009-01-27T15:18:00.001-05:00

I am not leaving my house today. It snowed last night, rained today, and is supposed to snow some more through the night. When I lived in Michigan, this would've been a minor inconvenience. In Louisville, however, I have become like the many who make a run on the grocery stores at any prediction of snowflakes. It isn't that I don't remember how to drive in the snow; if anything, my situation is better as I have a landlord that doesn't let the snow get knee-deep before my driveway is plowed. However, the other drivers here scare me out of my wits. Last weekend it snowed maybe 1.5 inches in about 2 hours. The next day I read in the paper that there were 130 accidents in our county as a result. I saw 5 of those accidents happen in a 10-minute time span.

I am trying to figure out things to do in my house as a result of being "snowed in," for lack of a more fitting term. I don't know why I have a hard time doing this as there always seems to be something to clean, several loads of laundry to do, a dog to be washed, books to read, movies to watch, dinner to cook, friends to call, and other random activities I always wish I had more time to do when I work a lot. When Joe left for work today, however, I had no idea what to do with myself. I did finally shower, which probably was a good thing. I always feel more productive when I feel clean.

A week from Sunday I am going to Lafayette, Indiana for a week-long conference on biblical counseling with my mom and a few people from my old church in Iron Mountain. I am really looking forward to going, and not only because it means I get a whole week off from work:) Since it isn't real practical for me to be taking classes at the seminary right now like Joe is, this is the second best option for me to pursue some sort of ministry in biblical counseling. The speakers at the weekend versions of the conference that I have been to have always been excellent and I am sure this will be no exception. It is also rumored that there is an excellent bookstore on the premises and Joe told me that since this is, in essence, my schooling, I get to buy some "textbooks" for my own reference. I love it! Hopefully the weather will be good for traveling.

Well, maybe I will do something productive, like balance our budget, or take Riley outside, or watch Gilmore Girls...I wonder how mad Joe would be if I made no-bake cookies tonight.

Cookie dough, Pepsi, and allergies...

2008-11-05T20:37:00.001-05:00

I am being bad tonight. I just ate raw cookie dough, several cookies worth in fact. I am also having Pepsi when I'm not supposed to. I sort of have an allergy/sinus headache so I'm hoping the caffeine will help cure it. I also had an intense craving for the sugary-sweet taste of my favorite caffeinated beverage...or maybe just my favorite beverage. Honestly, I haven't had Pepsi in a long time. I'll probably regret drinking it in the morning, but there you have it.

Anyway, today was my third week working for the Dare to Care Ministry at our church. It's a sort of food pantry and clothes closet, and at Christmas time it's also a toy shop for children of needy families. Right now the church is also putting together holiday baskets for needy families in the area, and our ministry heads that up as well. I really enjoy it, although it can be sad and disturbing at times. Every week that I've been there, it has been so busy that I haven't had a chance to eat lunch. People are lined up to receive food from the time I get there (usually a little before 10, and it opens earlier than that) till about 4 p.m., and it actually closes at 3:30. Today a single mom came in to get some food. She works full-time at Walmart and has three kids. It's sad to me that she works as hard as she does and she still isn't quite making it. I feel like I have been naive to people living this type of lifestyle until now. Sure, I've heard about it, but I've never actually rubbed shoulders with these people. It doesn't take much to get there, either.

Well, I suppose I should put the cookies away before they get hard. I like to get them in a container as soon as they are cool enough so they stay soft for a longer period of time...and so Pita doesn't get a hold of them. I learned my lesson after she bit the tops off of a dozen blueberry muffins I made from scratch one time. Darn cats, anyway! :)

Autumn

2008-10-19T16:57:00.001-04:00

There's just something about autumn that I love...maybe it's a lot of little things combined. The colors of the leaves on the trees, the feel of a warm, cozy bed on a cool morning, the taste of pumpkin breads and pies, chili and beef stew, and other heavier foods, the expansion of my wardrobe to include sweaters and wool peacoats. There is just something about autumn. Overall, I think I have determined that it is my favorite season. Maybe if I still lived in Michigan I wouldn't feel that way, but here in Kentucky it is. In Kentucky, winter is gloomy and there really isn't much snow to make it fun. I thought I would enjoy having a spring but with a real spring I developed allergies and that put a bit of a damper on things. Summer is nice, but very hot and humid, so I really do think I prefer autumn overall.

Maybe part of it is the anticipation of the holidays and all that comes with them. With the changing of the leaves comes the sale of pumpkins and the making of pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving. This year, I get to spend Thanksgiving with my family in the UP. I haven't been to the UP for holidays in two years now so it will be really nice to be up there. When I get back, I know Joe will drag out the Christmas tree from the storage closet for me so I don't have to deal with the brown recluse spiders I always fear will be hiding in the nooks and crannies. I will have a real fireplace mantle to hang the stockings from this year. We will get to go see Joe's family for several days before Christmas, which we feared would not happen until after New Years since Joe's boss was not going to give him time off in December at all. We may even get to see some snow before we return to the south (I hope)!

All this talk of autumn and holidays has me sitting here in a sweatshirt and pajama pants with a mug of hot chocolate, making music mixes on my computer that seem to correlate with the weather . It sort of leaves me with an urge to go running in the park so I can be surrounded by the colors and the scents---all that is autumn. Maybe I just need Joe to wake up so I will actually be productive around the house.

A New Haircut

2008-08-28T14:58:00.000-04:00

I got a haircut today...

This may not seem like much of a big deal to anyone else. After all, people get their hair cut all the time. Usually it isn't that big of a deal for me, either. However, for the last year, I have pretty much been wearing my hair in a ponytail due to my job and not really loving the way my hair has looked. I don't really like having to look for a new stylist because I don't trust that they won't ruin my hair (I have had too many horrible haircuts).

Anyway, Joe made me a hair appointment last night for this morning at 11. We had received a coupon in the mail for a free cut and style at the salon at Macy's so I decided I would try it out seeing as how I needed a haircut desperately and free is always good:) I hadn't found a stylist here in Louisville yet that I loved so I didn't feel like I was betraying anyone by trying someone new. I found a picture of a hairstyle that I liked (and Joe liked) and was all set to go.

Today I showed up a few minutes late at the salon due to my alarm being turned all the way down this morning (I guess that is what happens when you haven't used it in a year) but the girl was real nice about it. She was younger, which I was happy about, as the older ones tend to give me 80s bangs and girl versions of the mullet. She was real friendly, but didn't talk my ear off, and did a wonderful job on my hair. Needless to say, I think I will be going back to her to get my hair cut the next time I need it done. I only wish Riley's new haircut looked as amazing as mine. Joe trimmed his head this past weekend and he looks like his head shrunk. Oh well.

Now that I have an amazing haircut, I want to have amazing nails, brows, clothes...it put me in a shopping and pampering mood. I don't know how excited Joe would be to hear that. I was good though and spent no money, although I DO need new clothes since none of mine fit anymore. The joys of weight loss:) I love when I can tell them that I actually need clothes. hehe.

Reader, beware...

2008-07-27T23:16:00.000-04:00

For anyone who actually still checks my blog, you may be sorry you do after you read this one. The only reason I'm really writing it is because I need to get some stuff out on 'paper' and writing with a pen not only takes too long, but would probably give my hand a cramp. If you want to quit reading now, feel free to do so. If not, you were warned:)

I am lamenting the lack of routine in my life. That said, I am going to whine about it. A lot. I am really, really frustrated with it right now. I can't stick to a workout schedule. I can't adjust to any sleep schedule before it changes again. This morning, I missed church for this reason. I couldn't fall asleep until three hours before I was supposed to be up and ready, and when I was supposed to get up, I was completely nauseated and could barely keep my eyes open. When I do go to church, I have a hard time paying attention and staying alert. I am embarrassed when people make comments about the service to me after because oftentimes I have zoned out and haven't heard half of it. Because my sleep schedule is not consistent, I wake up frequently when I am supposed to be sleeping, be it day or night. I feel drowsy at work and am always afraid I am going to screw up someone's lab work because I am tired.

My spiritual life pretty much sucks. Prior to starting this job, I had been struggling with being in the Word regularly and spending time with God like I used to. I want to be close to God again and I know that the only way to be close to Him is to spend time with Him. The way I got there before was to have consistent daily time with Him at the same time every day. I have tried to do this again. However, every time I start to get on a roll where I am reading my Bible for a few days in a row and praying regularly, my schedule changes and I can't do it at the same time anymore. I end up missing a day or two in the schedule adjustment. If I let myself feel guilty about it, and usually I do, a day or two becomes three or four, sometimes more...I end up where I am now: not wanting to even try because I know where I'll end up tomorrow when I have to start working again.

On top of this, I am jealous...horrible, I know...JEALOUS of my husband because it seems like he has more opportunity for spiritual growth and encouragement than I do right now He has applied to go to seminary this fall and is waiting to hear back on whether or not he was accepted. I would love to be able to do this right now but at this point it probably wouldn't be a wise choice schedule-wise or finance-wise for us. He has also been able to participate in a lot of things at church that take place at night that I haven't been able to because I work at night. Now there is a retreat coming up Labor Day weekend in Mississippi that our small group is going on. We both really wanted to be able to go. Joe is able to switch his work schedule around so he can attend. I, however, cannot as it is my summer holiday and I have to work it. There is no getting out of it for me.

I realize I am being stupid and petty and that there will be other opportunities for me in the future besides these. I realize that sitting here and complaining about all this will not help or change anything. However, it is late, I haven't slept much, and I am in a sinful frame of mind. That's the real me, sadly enough. Now that I have that out of my system, I suppose I will stop writing before I embarrass myself any further.

For Beth

2008-05-14T21:54:00.000-04:00

Since Beth is the only one who ever reads these things, I decided that I will personalize this blog for her. Beth, here is an update on my life since the last time I saw you, which I guess was...Sunday.

Monday and Tuesday were pretty much non-existent days in that all I did was work, sleep, get a darn cavity filled, sleep, and work. I have learned just how important flossing my teeth every night is. I have also learned that it is important for me to ingest less sugar. I do not like learning that I have cavities. I don't understand how Joe got out of there with none when he flosses just as little as I do. It must be the all the milk he drinks or something. Oh well though. I am thankful that we have good dental insurance. This last weekend I went and bought an electric toothbrush, some floss, and some mouthwash so I can have a fresh and healthy mouth that any dentist would be proud of. Bad flossing habits aside, I did like the actual dentist and am glad that I listened to your recommendation on who to go to:)

Today was rather uneventful as well. I came home from work and watched, "To Kill a Mockingbird." It was from the 1960s starring Gregory Peck. I thought it was a pretty good adaptation of the book and thoroughly enjoyed it. After that, I went to sleep for a few hours. When Joe finally woke up, I guess he watched it. He did not appreciate the movie as much as I did, but I didn't figure he would. He tends to have a lesser appreciation for black and white films. He did fold all the laundry that was in the second bedroom so that was nice. Tomorrow I will have to be diligent about making sure I get all the laundry I wash folded as soon as it comes out of the dryer so I don't have clean laundry piled up again. I hate when it gets unmanageable like that. When I finally got up and showered, Joe was not in a very good mood. Turns out that not being a church member for a year could have an effect upon whether or not he gets into seminary according to an admissions counselor. I tried to cheer him up by taking him shoe shopping. I thought he would be happy when I found a pair of shoes for Laura's wedding for only 15 dollars (in case the ones I love don't ever go on sale) that are semi-cute. He was somewhat appeased, but still kind of grouchy. We had dinner at Culver's, where the burger made him feel a little better, and then the highlight of my day occurred. I found a really cute cocktail dress at Macy's for the rehearsal dinner for L's wedding. You will have to see it; I got an AMAZING deal on it. Surprisingly, the good deal on the dress followed by looking at cookware and baby clothes made him feel better about his life.

Anyway, now I am sitting here bored out of my mind while he sleeps...I suppose I should try to as well since I have to bring him to work and I should try to clean my mess of an apartment tomorrow...

5:22

2008-04-30T07:17:00.000-04:00

Today I really feel like writing, so that's fair warning to any of you who are short on time or just don't really care to read my ramblings:)

A quick update on life before I delve into deeper things...

Joe and I have both decided to apply to take some classes at the seminary this fall. I am really excited not only for the classes I will be taking but to be able to connect with people who are interested in pursuing the same type of things that I am. I think I am going to try to complete an MA in Biblical Counseling if all goes as planned, i.e. no accidents happen. Joe is thinking of getting an MA in some type of adult ministry thing also. It will be neat if we can take some of our classes together and discuss what we are learning and what our thought processes and such are as we go through everything. It will be neat to see how we grow spiritually as we pursue this together.

We also found out that my brother Josh will be moving down here to attend school this fall, so that is really exciting. He will be moving in with us this summer, so we are hoping to be in a bigger apartment in our complex very soon. It will be really nice to have some family in the area and Joe is really excited to have a automatic guy pal to hang out with when I'm working. Hopefully Pita and Josh will be able to work out the differences they've had in the past and live in peace together...Josh isn't holding his breath on that one though.

I found out this weekend that someone was hired to fill the shift that I am currently working in the lab, which means I will be moving to my new day-shift position very soon! The lady that was hired is actually the person who's position I took. She had moved down to Florida to be by her daughter and now is looking to move back. She will not require much training, meaning I will get to move to days much faster than I would if they had to train someone new to our lab. I am really looking forward to being on a normal schedule! Right now I pretty much don't see or speak to anyone three days out of the week because I am working when everyone else is available for me to do that with and sleeping when everyone else is working. It will also be nice to be able to spend more time with Joe and to be more flexible as far as hanging out with people at night.

There are a couple of things I will miss about working nights, one being the solitude that sometimes comes with the shift. I have had a lot of time to think, ponder, pray, even cry out to God on third shift. Because I don't work with anyone else in the lab and things tend to slow down in the ER after midnight, there are usually one or two nights a week when I can count on having 2-4 hours of time with no human contact. Some people would hate this, but I thrive on it. I am definitely an introvert by nature. Anyway, this morning was one of those mornings where I was by myself for a very extended period of time. Recently I've been using some of it to write out my prayers and thoughts to God and to read my Bible. I haven't been real consistent in it...or in time with God at all for the last couple of years really.

For a long time I had loved to spend time with God every day. I looked forward to it. God was showing me new things every day in His word, I was having wonderful prayer and worship times with Him, I was listening for and hearing His voice in regard to my life, decisions I made, even regarding the speed limit when I was driving. Anyway, a bunch of not fun stuff happened and I ended up feeling tired, hurt, angry, and bitter. I struggled for a while with legalism. Then I struggled with the church and Christians in general. Then I struggled with whether Christianity was even worth it. There were a lot of 3 a.m.s spent in agony wondering if I was even saved. Why couldn't I connect with God in the way I used to? Why did I feel so far from Him? God had to remove some influences from my life that I had allowed to have a larger voice than His and I started to see more clearly what had happened. He used sermons and Sunday school lessons, He used podcasts and emails, He used His Word, and He spoke to me.

I'm not going to get into everything I've realized prior to today...this isn't supposed to be my memoirs or anything and you didn't expect a book when you started reading. Anyway, today I figured out one of the last pieces of the puzzle. Selfishness. I don't think I realized until this morning how much I expect everything and everyone to revolve around me. It made me sick to my stomach. Has anyone else experienced this? Even the times I've thought I was being selfless, my motives haven't been. To make a long story short, I had to repent. After I did, I experienced joy like I haven't felt in two years. It physically felt like a burden had been lifted off of me. The wall has been broken down. I know selfishness is always going to be a struggle...I think it is for everyone, as everyone just tends to look out for themselves, but I was reminded today that Jesus died and rose for that and that I don't have to be a slave to that any longer. Praise God, He has set us free from sin! I am dead to sin and alive in Christ!

Now that I have freaked all of you out at 8 a.m., I will go. Just be glad you aren't Joe, he got to hear a much more detailed and animated version of this at 6:30. I love having joy at 5:22 in the morning!

The Walk of Shame

2008-04-17T07:12:00.000-04:00

For some reason, I cannot change my font and color on this posting, so no fun colors today. Sorry everyone.

Anyway, I really am only writing this blog because I am thinking of where I was at this time yesterday (that would be 7:13 a.m. precisely) and laughing out loud to myself, unless you count Riley, who just gives me a look like I'm completely crazy any time I make an audible noise. He doesn't count.

A few weeks ago, Joe's car would not start, and because we have been putting dollar after dollar into keeping this car running, we decided it was not worth fixing anymore and are now down to one car. (We have an interested buyer in Joe's car, by the way, so keep that in your prayers!) Because of this, Joe has been picking me up at work and dropping me off at home before he goes to work. If I am not working, I will usually just drop him off myself so I can have the car for the day. Yesterday, however, he was dropping me off at home because I had to work that night so I was just going to sleep all day anyway.

A few minutes before he picked me up from work, I called him to ask him to please leave the door unlocked as I had left my keys at home. He said he would and we hung up. I was so glad I didn't have to walk home that morning because I had been feeling really sick all night and was just ready to crash. A warm bed and some strong pain medication were calling my name.

Joe picked me up and brought me back to the apartment. A garbage truck followed us into the complex and was waiting for the car to move, so I said my goodbyes quickly and ran to the door. I jiggled the knob and it was LOCKED. I ran back to the parking lot and Joe had just sped off. I then ran to the back of our apartment building because there is a road Joe takes to one of his jobs that winds around back there. Unfortunately, that was not the job he was going to yesterday, so he went a different direction. I then checked the patio door. That was locked, too. By this time, Riley had heard the commotion I was making and starting barking at me. I burst into tears. I had no phone to call my husband and no keys to get into the apartment. I could've waited until the apartment manager came in, but she wouldn't have been in until 8. Not wanting to wait an hour and a half on my cold patio for this to happen, I began the walk of shame to find a pay phone.

If anyone has tried to find a pay phone in the last, oh, several years, they may have noticed that there aren't many left due to the rise of the cell phone. Yesterday was my day to find this out. I had not stopped crying earlier and upon realizing that there was no pay phone to be found, I cried even harder. Needless to say, I walked all the way back to work and called Joe from there to come and let me into the apartment. He came and got me at 7:13.

That was my adventure for the week. Oh, and I broke a lab instrument. What a boring life I lead!

I just can't get started...

2008-03-10T11:14:00.000-04:00

For the few who have been checking for an updated blog, here it is. Maybe the title is inappropriate now, as I have started this blog three or four times and have not yet made it past the first paragraph. Today may be my lucky day.

Anyway, being that it's 5:58 a.m. and I slept for approximately 5 hours in the last 36, this may not make much sense, so bear with me.

I guess a lot has happened since I last blogged. New developments in the Martin household include: Joe's car completely died, my car is completely fixed:), the apartment is in process of being painted, I got a day-shift position, and Riley is no longer allowed on our bed. That last one was only added due to me being lazy and not wanting to go back and restructure my sentence. I guess that is sort of a new development anyway!

It seems like this year (I can't believe I'm writing this after all three months of it) has been a mixture of blessings and, well, frustrations, but it has been sort of neat to see how God has provided for us through everything. Joe and I have both been on a spiritual roller coaster over the past 2 years and even at our lowest points God has taken care of our every need. I was just telling my grandma today that if all the events that have taken place in 2008 for Joe and I had taken place in 2007, we would not have made it financially. So praise God that He is faithful even when we are not!

Now that I have written another completely random blog, I will try and get some sleep. This blog is dedicated to Beth, as I know she will appreciate the time and thought that was put into it:)

Decisions, decisions...

2008-03-03T15:25:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the random empty post...I was writing and I think it got erased. I guess I didn't realize it would still post the title!

Anyway, this week has been interesting thus far. I had to work last night and have to work the next few nights also. Last night someone came in that was losing blood so I had to issue my first units of blood to the ER. The paperwork is a bit daunting in that process and that is something that really scares me to screw up because it can really hurt someone if their transfusion history gets messed up.

I made a reservation for Riley at a kennel here in Louisville yesterday since we are heading up for Eric and Paula's wedding this weekend. I feel a bit like a mom leaving her child for several days. I hate to think how I'll act when I have a real baby because I already cry when Riley freaks out if I have to leave him at the vet. I don't think he's going to be very happy being left, but at least he will have constant attention, which he wouldn't have up north since Joe and I are going to be so busy up there. I haven't been this excited to be in Grand Rapids...ever I don't think.

Joe and I went to an informational meeting on a mission trip to Chile in October through our church. I guess we will be doing a lot of Scripture distribution, maybe some creative ministries, prayer walking, etc. We have to decide by March 30th if we are going to go. I would really like to go on this for a lot of reasons. It will be interesting to see if it pans out since the last...hmm...three mission trips I have attempted to go on have been cancelled due to things like September 11th, pregnancies, etc. If any of you who read this could be praying about this decision for us that would be wonderful! It's going to be a bit of a job raising money for two of us to go instead of just one, so we really want to be sure this is what God would have us do.

Well, now that I've written pretty much one of the most random and hard -to-follow posts EVER, I suppose I should get ready for work. I hope you all are enjoying your week!

Introduction

2008-02-28T07:21:00.000-05:00

Well, my husband seems to think that I need to have a blog, so here it is. It's been a while since I've done this type of thing so bear with me while I get reacquainted with sharing parts of my personal life over the internet;)

Anyway, things in Kentucky are going fairly well. Riley had an eye checkup yesterday and it sounds like his vision is going to be fine. He has to wear the cone on his head for two more weeks, but in some ways I kind of like it because he can't get to Pita as easily and he stays out of things he shouldn't be in. It will be sad when that check isn't there for him anymore. Joe has started his new job at the hospital and has picked up several days both there and at another hospital in the system, which is really nice. We found out yesterday that we are going to have to pay a truckload of money to get my last two wisdom teeth out; apparently I have to have a biopsy on some tissue around one of them because there is some sort of cyst there, which makes the extraction a lot more expensive. It will be good to have some extra money coming in for that purpose. At least we'll have met our medical deductible for the year and it won't even be March! I don't like dealing with insurance stuff...makes me miss being an irresponsible child. Oh well though.

We are going up to Michigan next weekend for Eric & Paula's wedding, which should be fun. I think we are going to be able to see almost every friend we have from the college days so I am looking forward to it. I bought a sweet dress and a clutch and may be naughty and buy some shoes and a new shrug or something today. Funny how when you find out that you actually need to start spending your money a little more wisely you want to spend more of it on stuff you really can't justify needing...at least in my case:(

Joe wrote a little on the spiritual analysis that we took when we joined the church, and I have to say, I'm a little jealous of his gifts. My primary gift seems to be discernment...the gift of the hated. As if I need any help in making people mad at me; I do it well enough with my sin nature;) The others in my top five were teaching, knowledge, hospitality, and shepherding. I was a little disappointed that counseling wasn't in my top five. That is what I had wanted to go to seminary for and even though it scored relatively high, there are other areas where it seems I am more gifted. I know that this analysis is just supposed to be a guide to help you figure things out, but in my own opinion, I don't feel like it's wrong. I have been thinking and praying about how God would have me use my gifts and am now considering not doing the counseling program at the seminary but still taking classes and possibly pursuing some sort of degree; not sure what type yet though. While I think that doing counseling would be good, I'm starting to think that it may not be the best use of my gifts. What the best use is, I'm not sure of yet, but I'm starting to think it wouldn't be that. Who knows.

Well, now that I've bored you all to tears, I suppose I will go to my step aerobics class. This ended up being a lot longer than I had planned...probably because I haven't really talked to anyone about these things due to working and then falling asleep at 6 p.m., missing all phone calls from the people I love. I won't be so long-winded next time...hopefully.